The challenge with being emotionally competent is that it is damned hard work. Everyone has a base level of emotional competency, some never develop beyond that base level, others do and become really good at understanding themselves. The majority sit somewhere in the middle. They are neither emotionally incompetent or emotionally competent, they get through most situations on a wing and a prayer; and the skills of those few that have acheived emotional mastery.
Being emotionally competent means you have a high level of awareness of your emotions, what you are thinking and how your thoughts are influencing your behaviour. Emotional mastery is the ability to interpret your own thoughts and perceptions, identify trigger events that cause you to react negatively and have in place strategies for minimising the impact of negative behaviours by yourself and others. Mastery is the domain of an elite few.
Having suggested mastery is a challenge, is not an excuse to give up on your emotional development. There is a huge amount of personal satisfaction in developing your emotional competency to the point where it enables you to work through the majority of situations in a stress free manner. There is the personal benefit – lower stress.
Developing your emotional competency is a journey. Each time you feel its time to hop off the train you discover there is another track opening in front of you. It’s a part of your personal and professional development.
You don’t need to invest in expensive courses to develop your emotional competency. Two key practices will teach you much, much more. Whenever you have an opportunity ask yourself, what am I thinking right now? Then ask, how are my thoughts influencing my behaviour? Take time to reflect. The odds are you will be uncomfortable with your answers.
These questions force you to consider change. If all is well then you are doing the right thing. If all is not well, the only way to change the outcome is to change the way you are behaving, and that requires you to understand what you are thinking and how your thoughts influence your behaviours.
If you are looking for someone to mentor and coach managers email John for a confidential, no obligation discussion.